Pregnancy hormones and a toddler

Little L is napping now. I will soon need to start preparing lunch. I should probably be having a rest now. Or I should read the Hypnobirthing book. Maybe listen to the relaxation mp3. Hmmm. Relaxation. Sounds tempting. But I am writing a blog post instead. Well, it’s some kind of relaxation as well. At least, it is for me.

I am thinking of this morning. One of the most ordinary mornings, really. Well, one of the less pleasant ones maybe. But still an ordinary morning. Sometimes, I am thinking of other mums. I am wondering how their mornings look like. And, while I am going through this morning’s events, I am thinking that we don’t share enough about the ordinary moments in life…

6.50: Peaking out of the shower as the baby phone goes on. Deciding to continue to shower as little L seems to move but to remain calm in his bed. Hoping that he will fall asleep again for half an hour or so
7.00: Getting dressed and deciding to prepare a bowl of cereals. Trying to make no noise
7.10: Sitting down to have breakfast. Hearing the baby phone go on. Seeing little L sitting in his bed. Deciding to quickly finish the cereals
7.20: Hearing that little L is protesting in his bed. Deciding to stop eating cereals and to take Luca out of his bed.
7.25: Opening all curtains with a happy little L who is full of energy. Deciding to take little L with me in the living room to finish my cereals as he is in a good mood
7.30: Sharing my (quite sugary, I have to admit) cereals with Luca. Wondering if sugary cereals are good for a 18-months old
7.35: Deciding that they are probably not so good for toddlers… Stopping to share my cereals with little L. Hearing him starting to protest immediately.
7.40: Deciding that they cannot do harm neither. He is no baby anymore. Finishing my cereals with little L (but also in peace)
7.45: Attempting to get little L dressed. Explaining him that it is time to change the diaper and to get dressed as mummy is dressed as well.
7.50: Finally moving towards his room with him. Putting a protesting little L on his changing mat.
7.55: Trying to put a fresh diaper and new clothes on little L while he is walking around on the chest of drawers, checking out everything next to the changing mat and throwing every single item on the floor. Remaining calm.
8.00: Hearing the doorbell ring. Heading to the entrance door with a half dressed little L as the cleaning lady arrives
8.05: Finishing to get little L dressed.
8.10: Starting to prepare breakfast while little L is helping push the vacuum cleaner. Remembering that little L has started refusing his usual breakfast options (porridge, semolina etc. with fruits). Wondering what to prepare.
8.15: Remembering that a friend told me that she was giving smoothies to her little one. Deciding to make a smoothie instead.
8.20: Starting to cut the fruit.
8.25: Hearing the cleaning lady shout “No, Luca, no!”. Heading to the bathroom to explain to little L that you cannot eat cleaning products. Asking the cleaning lady not the leave the cleaning products in places where little L can reach them.
8.30: Continuing to prepare the smoothie. Wondering if it is ok to put uncooked oats flakes in the smoothie.
8.35: Googling “Smoothie with oats flakes 18-months old”
8.40: Finding no real great results. Deciding to put some anyway
8.45: Seeing little L play with his color crayons. Waving to him and thinking to myself how great it is that little L is a toddler now who can occupy himself so nicely.
8.50: Not seeing little L anymore. Asking “Luca?”. No response.
8.55: Deciding to stop the food preparation and to step out of the kitchen. Finding little L in the corridor where he continues his drawings… on the wall! Shouting “No!” and removing the crayons from little L’s hands. Explaining him that mummy loves his drawings but not on the walls.
9.00: Trying to remove the color lines with a gum. Achieving a medium-good result. Wondering how life will be with two babies/toddlers under two. Deciding that this is no appropriate thought for a 30-weeks pregnant mummy of a toddler.
9.05: Handing the smoothie over to little L. Getting a very clear “No!”
9.10: Trying to convince little L to taste the smoothie at least before saying “No”. Realizing that the straw is too small for the thick smoothie anyway.
9.15: Answering a phone call while handing over a spoon to little L to eat the smoothie with a spoon. Seeing little L shake his head.
9.20: Feeding some spoons of smoothie to little L who is now watching the mobile on loudspeaker. Happy to have succeeded making little L eat a bit.
9.25: Finishing the phone call. Seeing little L stop eating again. Wondering if it’s ok for a 18-months old not to drink any milk or formula, nor to eat milk purees or smoothies. Worrying a bit.
9.30: Handing over some bread with peanut butter to little L. Seeing a happy little L who starts eating. Asking in a Facebook forum how much milk a 18-months old needs. Getting mixed responses.
9.35: Seeing little L stop eating again as he wants to go down to play. Trying to convince him that food is vital. Seeing a not so convinced little L. Getting some signs of protest. Feeling desperate. Putting little L down to play.
9.40: Deciding to wait until the cleaner is done and to go out with little L. Deciding to quickly put the dishes in the dishwasher.
9.45: Hearing some noise. Seeing that little L has removed all CDs from the CD rack and is starting to remove them from their cases.
9.50: Explaining to little L that CDs can break easily and that you shouldn’t play with them. No results. Trading with some other toys. Getting better results.
9.55: Returning to the kitchen. Seeing little L remove all plugs from the plug sockets as he wants to put them in his mouth. Heading towards him. Wondering how I will make it through the day.
10.00: Saying bye to the cleaner and going out.

Getting some fresh air. Breathing in and out.

Remembering that there are difficult days for everyone.

Remembering that little L (who is the happiest toddler in the world again now that we are out and about) is just a toddler and that toddlers a) don’t eat much sometimes, b) prefer discovering things and playing instead and c) first need to learn what they are allowed to do or not.

Still feeling a bit like crying.

Telling myself that this must be the pregnancy hormones. Or the fatigue. Or simply part of being a mum to a toddler.

Discretely pushing aside the thought of how life will be with two toddlers.

Deciding to go to bed early this evening.

And to give little L a big kiss.

Motherhood is funny sometimes.

Isn’t it?

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Weeks 22 & 23: Resolutions

Christmas, New Year… it’s one of my favorite times of the year at the moment. I love to reflect on everything that has happened during the last months and to look forward to the new year to come. I love to spend this time of the year with my little family. It makes me realize how absolutely lucky we are to have each other. I know it sounds silly (and it might be the pregnancy hormones to some extend) but I have rarely felt as grateful as during the last two weeks. Just to see little L giggle with excitement when I switch on the lights of the Christmas tree makes me feel so absolutely happy… (that’s also why I don’t want to remove the tree haha).  It’s the last day of 2015 today. Time to wish you all a very happy New Year 2016 with loads of laughter, friends and new challenges to take on. No long post today, just some reflections about how I see 2016 (as a future mum of two😉 ). Enjoy!

The symptoms I am supposed to have in weeks 22 and 23 (and how I am really feeling)

  • Sensitive belly button: Hmm, no, not really. But in general, the lower part of my belly is itching more than usual.
  • Nice and fresh looking skin, shine hair: I wish! Well, it is maybe true that the hair is getting a bit nicer than usual but I wouldn’t say that my skin is “nice and fresh looking”. I rather have more spots than usual… Hope that this will go away soon… It might also be due to the chocolate and sugar overkill during the last days?!
  • Pregnancy brain and clumsiness: Ok, so, that’s my husband’s favorite symptom for sure! He would definitely underline that I am constantly forgetting things at the moment and that I am always bumping into things… And he’s probably right… I am forgetting an awful lot these days. Everything needs to be written down… Apparently, this is the result of hormonal changes. The good news is that this forgetfulness is only temporary. The bad news is that it can last until your baby’s first birthday (which means that I might actually be having “pregnancy brain” since over two years since I got pregnant when little L was one year old…!)
  • Baby’s movements: I’ve read that the baby’s movements are now really easy to recognize – and that’s definitely true. I can feel Miss M every day a bit more – and she’s definitely not one of the quiet babies😉

 

Little Miss M
Little L now weighs as much as a large mango. She’s really getting big now! We won’t see her for a while as the next scan has been scheduled for February only. But I can feel her – and that’s the most important thing😉 During the last days, Miss M’s inner ear mechanism has apparently fully formed, which means that she can now really hear what I am hearing. Over the next weeks, she will be able to get used to certain sounds and recognize them – and even respond to them by moving around. I am singing quite a lot for Luca but maybe I should put more music when we are home. Will work on that:-)

What I find quite interesting is that once Miss M’s sense of hearing evolves, she will also be able to learn and remember things. For example, she might be startled by a certain noise at first (her brother’s screaming when I try to convince him to change his nappy…?!) but, if she is hearing this noise over and over again, she actually adapts to it and finally, ignores it. Crazy how early our brain starts to work!

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This week’s topic

Bring on 2016!
Today is December 31. The last day of an amazing year, full of emotions, new challenges and happy moments. Tomorrow, we will all start a new year, a new chapter. Funny thing how we suddenly all think that, from one day to the next, everything will change. It’s as if we were crossing some kind of border during the night from December 31st to January 1st. As if we were waking up “on the other side”. In a new land where everything is possible and new. With loads of new opportunities, challenges and surprises. As if we left all bad things behind and started writing on a new blank page.

And obviously, no “border crossing”, no start into a new year, no new blank page without resolutions… I have always found the idea of setting unrealistic goals for the New Year (most of which are things you hate to do) quite, let’s say, un-motivating. Like discussing about planning to lose 5kg in the New Year while you’re eating turkey, raclette and Christmas cake…?! In order to change things, I usually need to start directly when I think about them. I need to want to change something so badly that I can’t put it off. The simple idea of starting to change something in some weeks only tells me that I will never do it…

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Having said that, this doesn’t mean that I am not thinking about 2016 and about how it will be as a mum of two. Of course, there are many things I want to work on. There will be new challenges that will need to be tackled. We will need to find a new balance as a family of four. Guess if I’d take only one New Year’s resolution it would be “Don’t go completely crazy next year. Keep cool. Others have done it as well (and survived somehow haha)”. No, seriously, no New Year’s resolutions for me. But here’s some stuff I want to work on (or keep up):

1. Get some help. Or should I say: accept that I will most probably need some kind of help with two kids, no family around and a travelling hubby. Our granny went back to Germany one day before Christmas. Long story. But to make it short: I still absolutely love the concept of getting a granny. It was just not the right solution for us at this very moment. I think a granny is probably better when you’re a working mum and when you’re not around all day. Our granny was great (little L loved her!) – just not the kind of help we needed right now. So, 2016’s challenge will be to find out what kind of help we want – and to make compromises, I am sure.

2. Keep up blogging. Somehow. And I seriously don’t know how I will do this with two kids (especially if Miss M will need to be nursed every few hours for nearly an hour as it was the case for Luca). But I want to make it happen. And hey, sleep is over-rated anyways, right? It’s the constant struggle between sleeping or doing something for yourself. But I will try to keep up the writing… let’s see how it goes.

3. Go out with my hubby more often before Miss M arrives – cause we will most probably not go out for some months after that…

4. Learn how to use our TV. Or better, get some channels that are worth watching. No, seriously. We have about a thousand channels, three remote controls and a) no channel is worth watching really b) this TV works once in a while. I am not saying that I will have a lot of time to watch TV but who knows… maybe once in a while haha

5. Have a glass of champagne. And if it’s only on December 31, 2016. I have not had a glass of champagne (or any alcohol really) since I was pregnant with little L (November 2013!). First pregnant, then nursing, then pregnant again… I can only imagine that I will need a glass of champagne (or wine or vodka???) with two kids😉

6. Keep up the healthy cooking for our little family. Again: no clue how I will do that with a toddler running around and a newborn in my arms. But bring on the new challenges:-)

7. I’ve heard that, when you have a newborn and a toddler at home, you should actually spend more time with the toddler and get more help with the newborn as your older child might feel more “left out” than the newborn. Easy to say, hard to do. But I definitely get the point and will keep that in mind.

8. Get a double-stroller that allows you to walk on the Marina / JBR sidewalks… Better we start looking now, I guess…

9. Try to keep up seeing friends – even with two kids. Even with a small baby. Ok, that’s a tough one. But I’m sure it’s doable somehow. And I guess it’ll be necessary for my survival.

10. Accept that our apartment will sometimes look like a play area / bachelor apartment / professional laundry. Arggggg…

11. Accept that I will cry. A lot. Because I want to escape. Because I am so happy. Because I have the feeling not to spend enough time with little L alone. Because I have the feeling not to spend as much time with Miss M as I did with Luca when he was a baby.

12. Wear more shoes than just my favorite pair of ballerinas every day. Seriously – why is that?!

13. Talk more and think less. I guess it’s time to start saying some things straight away and not to lose time keeping them for myself and feeling bad. Everyone’s better off with a honest discussion.

14. Put everything into perspective. As simple as that. Cause at the end of the day, I can be so happy to have such a great family, some amazing friends and the chance to be able to do what I want to do at this very moment.

 

Must haves for Miss M:
Let’s keep it simple for this last post in 2015: Just the happy family we are at this very moment. That’s all.

Happy New Year again and see you “on the other side”😉

xxx
Tani

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Week 21: My Maternity Shoot

This week, I finally managed to calm down a bit. Little L went to nursery again, which gave me some time to relax, to do some Christmas preparations and to write:-) On Saturday, I had my first pregnancy shoot ever! Well, it was more of a family shoot than a pregnancy shoot actually cause we really wanted some nice pics with Luca as well. I’m very excited to share this experience with you in this post😉

The symptoms I am supposed to have in week 21 (and how I am really feeling)

  • Tiredness: I’ve read that exercising on a regular basis could help you feel more energized. I’m talking about the right kind of exercises of course; those that are suitable for pregnant women. Hmm, I will be very honest with you. Since I have found out that I was pregnant again I haven’t done any kind of sport. Like nothing at all. I have to admit that it comes as the last point on my to-do-list. No, worse… It’s not even on it. But I’d like to think that running after a super active toddler and doing some nice walks with the stroller is enough?! The second recommendation for pregnant women you usually find in books and on websites is “have a rest”. I actually managed to lay down once or twice this week while Luca was napping. Will try to keep that up. Definitely easier to realize than exercising haha😉
  • Time for maternity stockings or tights: Apparently, it is oh so good to wear maternity stockings or tights when you’re in the second trimester… They help prevent vein-related problems (varicose veins or spider veins) as well as aching feet / legs and water retention. I don’t doubt that. Really. But: we live in Dubai… And even though it is getting a bit windy and slightly colder, we still have around 25 degrees! So, definitely no maternity stockings for me! I prefer to eat plenty of citrus fruits, kiwis, berries, tomatoes and spinach to prevent the appearance of varicose veins😉 (as suggested by pregnancy coach Andrea Balazs)
  • Sensitive gums: Gums can become swollen and tender and bleed when you brush your teeth during pregnancy. This is due to the higher progesterone levels that can cause a reaction to the bacteria in plaque. Apparently, now is a good time to make an appointment with my dentist. Having said that, I have not been to the dentist once in my first pregnancy and I am not sure if I need to go this time… No sensitive gums so far. No problem with my teeth neither. Thankfully😉

 

Little Miss M
This week, we went (a little bit late) for the 20-week scan. A quite important one as it looks in detail at Miss M’s organs to see if they are developing normally. The placenta and volume of the amniotic fluid are also checked. We were super happy to hear that everything was normal and that our little Miss was doing fine.

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Now that Miss M is a bit bigger (approx. the length of a big carrot and about 370gr), it is really easy to detect her movements. I’ve read that it was possible to discover some kind of pattern in the baby’s activity by now. Oh my… I think I do, yes…. She is very active super late in the evening and super early in the morning. I hope that this is no preview of how it will be when she will be born! Cause Luca was very quiet at night when he was still in my belly and has been a quite good sleeper ever since. Let’s wait and see.

 

This week’s topic

Some nice memories for later
I’ve always wanted to do a pregnancy shoot. But when I was pregnant with little L I kind of forgot about it. First, I was too busy at work and then I was… well, super big haha. I didn’t feel comfortable having someone taking pics of me and my belly at 30+ weeks. I know that many women prefer to do it at the end when the belly really shows (and photographers actually advise you not to do the shoot too early as, otherwise, you might just look big and not pregnant on the photos), but it depends on your body. I had a quite impressive baby bump at the end of my first pregnancy and I am already having a quite big belly now. So, I decided to plan early this time.

There are so many beautiful pictures of maternity shoots on the Internet. I really love the ones that focus on a woman’s silhouette as well as the underwater shoots.

Souce: Pinterest

Souce: Pinterest

Source: Pinterest

Source: Pinterest

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe I will still be able to do one of these a bit later in my pregnancy but, for now, we wanted to get some nice pictures of us three and a half as a family. Some pictures that would also remind us of the fact that we were living in Dubai when I was pregnant with Miss M. But nothing too touristy. Some pictures that would show us as a family. The way we really are. Not too styled. No matching outfits. No special poses. Just us.

That’s when I came across Yuliya Boroday’s work. The first thing I realized was that her pictures never looked posed or unnatural. Quite the opposite. She is an artist that knows how to capture the magic of a very special moment in just one click. Her pictures tell stories. And this is exactly what I was looking for.

Photo taken by Yuliya Boroday

Photo taken by Yuliya Boroday

I sent her a short email and we decided to meet and discuss the shoot over a cup of coffee (well, a lemon-ginger lemonade for me as I barely couldn’t smell coffee at that time😉 ). After one hour of chatting about our kids, playing “peek-a-boo” with little L and discussing our lives in Dubai, I simply knew that I wanted to work with Yuliya. We decided to wait a little bit until my bump would show a bit more (the beginning of the 5th month seemed perfect in my case) and to meet mid-December in Al Bastakiya with little L and my lovely (photo shoot hating) husband.

It has always been pretty obvious to me that we should do the photo shoot in Al Bastakiya, Dubai’s oldest neighborhood. I absolutely love its historical buildings, its art galleries and hidden courtyards. Plus, it rarely gets too crowded and you can always find a bit of shade here. Al Bastakiya shows another side of Dubai. A calmer one. I really appreciate this side of Dubai as well. By the way, when you go there, make a stop at XVA Café, which is part of an arty boutique hotel, (Instagram: xvagallery) and enjoy one of their delicious cheesecakes – definitely one of the best I’ve ever tasted! Or try one of their other vegetarian dishes that are just as yummy.

But back to our photo shoot. We met Yuliya in Bur Dubai last Saturday, early in the morning (like really, really early for a Saturday morning haha). The start in the day was a bit hectic. We needed to wake little L up (obviously, he wanted to sleep longer that day😉 ), had a super quick breakfast and rushed into the car. While Luca was an angel the day before (he played for over an hour at where we had a breakfast with the lovely girls from and even danced at the brunch we had afterwards with my husband’s work colleagues), he put on the grumpiest of his faces on the day of the photo shoot… Of course, the stress didn’t help. I tried to play peek-a-boo and every other imaginable toddler game on the way to Bur Dubai… but nothing helped.

When we arrived at Al Bastakiya he still didn’t give a hint of a smile. Luckily, Yuliya has two young kids herself and managed to stay cool. She also had some great ideas that only a photographer who is a mum herself can have: for example, she had some nursery rhythms on her phone. When she took pics of little L, she held her mobile with the music up – worked like a treat! I don’t even know why I hadn’t thought of it myself! She also advised us to bring Luca’s favorite toys and snacks (and plenty of water to drink of course).

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I’m not saying that doing a photo shot with a grumpy 16-months old is a piece of cake (little L even managed to break a piece of his front tooth during the shoot…!) but a great photographer that stays relaxed, happy and playful with the kids makes the whole situation so much easier. After some time, Luca was getting happier and more and more playful – until it was nap time that is haha

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Here’s some lessons I’ve learned during the shoot that might be interesting if you’re ever planning to do a maternity shoot (or any other family shoot😉 ) with a toddler in tow:

  • Meet your photographer in person before the shoot. Together with your toddler. See how he reacts and see if and how the photographer interacts with your kid. Little L was a big fan of Yuliya from the first moment he saw her. She really is great with kids and that’s so important.
  • When you meet your photographer, take the time to explain what you want. What kind of pictures do you want? What kind of feeling do you want to convey? Why do you want to do this shoot? For whom? If possible, show some pictures of other (maternity) shoots that you like.
  • Obviously, you would want to talk about the package as well. What’s included in the price? Can you change outfits during the shoot? Is the photographer super rigid with timings (not very practical when you have a toddler)? How many pics will you get? Etc. etc.
  • If you’re doing an outside shoot, you might want to get the pictures taken at a time when the light is favorable and there are less people around. However, don’t forget to keep in mind your little one’s meal and naptimes as well. Doing a shoot with a tired and hungry toddler might not be the best solution😉 Also: Is he usually happier in the morning or afternoon? Plan accordingly.
  • Bring your little one’s favorite toys but think of something that also looks great on the pictures. Little L loved to play with my hat, for example. This was very useful and looked good on the pics as well😉
  • When nothing works, yummy snacks might do the trick. For us, it was raisins (Luca is literally addicted to them! No, seriously!), O’s (O-shaped cereals), blueberries and mango juice (I try to keep the latter to a minimum as it contains a lot of sugar). Raisins for example are so small that you can’t see them on the pictures – or not a lot – and they help you keep your little one focused. It’s a special occasion and special occasions require special treats, I would say.Screen Shot 2015-12-18 at 20.18.42
  • No matter if you’re planning to change outfits or not, take at least one other outfit for everyone involved. With a toddler, accidents happen. And you don’t want to find out that the only dress you’ve taken for the shoot has a huge blueberry stain on it.
  • Especially if you do a shoot with kids, you should not only feel pretty but also comfortable in your clothes. Oh, and take comfortable shoes!! Even more important. Carrying a 16-months old for longer periods of time (until some nice pics are taken) while wearing high heels and a short dress – and a baby bump!! – is not something your back won’t forget any soon. Screen Shot 2015-12-18 at 20.18.13
  • Stay cool. Stay relaxed. That’s easy to say when you’re already stressed because of the shoot and your toddler is having a tantrum just next to you… There might be people who are totally at ease in front of the camera but I don’t think my husband and I are part of these… But it’s really important to keep calm. If you stress out, your little one will be unsettled as well. He will feel your concern and not understand what’s going on. So, try to tell yourself that it’s better to do a little break, play a bit, talk a bit and calm down from time to time rather than absolutely wanting to get the shoot done.
  • Try to forget about the photographer (at least from time to time). Concentrate on your little family. Concentrate on making your toddler happy and smiley. The pictures will follow. When you are all having a great time, the photographer will take care of the rest.

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I’m really happy with the pictures Yuliya has taken. Such a nice memory of my pregnancy here in Dubai😉

If you want to see more of Yuliya’s work and get in contact with her, check out her website and .

 

Must haves for Miss M:
“Shhhhh… Baby’s sleeping. Please don’t ring the doorbell but knock”. We’ve installed a sign that is similar to the one below (seen on http://www.etsy.com) next to our doorbell since little L has been woken up by the door bell of our apartment several times.

Source: Etsy.com

Source: Etsy.com

In Dubai, where you get deliveries every week or so, this is really super helpful. We’ve bought ours at the last year. So, nothing new I will get for Miss M – but something I wanted to share with you😉

xxx

Tani

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