I’m sorry (letter to my oldest one)

May 22, 2016

I’m sorry
For making you grow up so quickly these days
But if I made you a big brother so soon it is because I knew that you would be the most caring and loving brother
And you are

I’m sorry
For every single morning when you wake up and don’t see me smiling down on you when you open your eyes
But if I’m not here it is because I am nursing your little sister
Just like I nursed you
Because I love her and I care for her
Just like I love and care for you

I’m sorry
For not being able to hold you as close as I used to do these days
But if I don’t pick you up when you reach out for my arms it is not because I don’t want to
It is because the doctor needed to hurt mummy a bit
To save your sister’s life

I’m sorry
For not saying good-bye longer when you go out to play with your nanny
But if I turn around it is because I don’t want you to see the tears running down my face
Because it hurts to let you go
To not be able to run around and play with you

I’m sorry
For making you feel like losing me a bit
(though you will never lose me, never, I promise)
But if I have less time for you now it is because I want to offer you the most precious gift in the world

Your sister

She will be your greatest teacher
And your most eager student

You will fight but always be there for each other

You will never be alone, my darling
There will always be your family right behind you

Supporting you
Challenging you
Loving you
Making you grow

And yet
I’m sorry for now
But I know that, one day, you will understand

xxx
Your mummy

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ABOUT ME

Hi there! I’m Tani De Gregorio. The one behind this little blog. ‘Our big Dubai adventure’ started about three years ago when I quit my job in a multinational in Switzerland to follow my husband to sunny Dubai where we are living now with our two little munchkins, Luca (3) and Maëva (nearly 2).

This blog is not about the glamorous life of an expat wife. There’s just too many baby wipes and too few high heels in my life for that.

Instead, it’s about our daily adventures in the sandpit. About motherhood away from home. It’s about the kids. About fun things for them to do. Things you might not have heard of otherwise. It’s about workshops. And cool places to explore. In this amazing city we call home. At least for a little while…

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Tani

Thanks! haha, yes, I guess you’re right about that

Guest

This is such an emotional letter! You must be so proud of your little Luca, he really is being the best big brother to his baby sister, and you are being the best mother you can be, which is the only thing that matters. Time will heal all.

Thanks so much, dear :-*

ginger and scotch

Lovely and sweet post.

Soon you’ll be saying sorry to the little one (for things like dragging her around to all her older brother’s after school activities…).