My little darling. It is the evening before your birthday. Tomorrow, you will be turning one…
There are so many things I want to tell you tonight. So many thoughts I want to write down in this letter that you won’t be able to read tomorrow. But maybe someday. One day, I know that you will sit down and open the drawer where all the old pictures are stored. The letters and cards. The paintings I made for you. With you. And your brother. One day, you will look at them and realise how much you were loved. Are loved. Will be loved forever by your brother, daddy and me.
Tonight, I want to tell you how proud I am of you, for everything that you are. You are one of the most beautiful persons I’ve met and I am meeting you every day anew. You are beautiful. Not because you are so delicate that I am afraid to break you every time I am holding you tight. You are beautiful. Not because your dark little curls are dancing in the sunlight every morning when we go for a walk. You are beautiful to me because your eyes are filled with sparkles, because your soul shines through them, because they brighten my day.
I know that, one day, you will be doubting this beauty. You will feel ugly. Because you are not tall enough. Blond enough. Thin enough. Please believe me, my little princess, this is not what beauty is all about. Our body is merely a reflection of what we are feeling deep inside. Of how loved we are. By ourselves and those who matter to us. No make-up, no clothes, no beauty scalpel will ever be able to brighten a sad soul…
Tonight, I want to tell you that I will always be there for you. I will not be able to give you all the answers. Or protect you. But I will be right behind you and help you stand up every time that you fall.
When I was a child I thought adults knew everything. That they had to guide me. Judge me. Tell me what is right, what is wrong. Today, I am an adult. And I realise how wrong I have been. It is at birth that we know everything. And then we slowly forget…
On your first birthday, you are my teacher, I am your student, my love. I watch you every day. And I learn. You still have faith in yourself and this world. Still need so few to be happy. To see the greatness of small things. You don’t worry about yesterday. Or about what tomorrow will bring. You just focus on the moment. On the now. On the here…
So, what can I even teach you?
I am only here to love you and to remind you not to forget what you already know.
Happy birthday, my little darling. We love you more than words can tell.
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