Tonight, I feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of being your mum.

I don’t always feel this responsibility. But tonight I can see it. And I see it crystal clear.

Tonight, I cried in front of you. I wish I could say that this never happens to me. That I am a strong mum. A happy mum. A smiling mum. All of the time. I wish I could say that this never happens to me. But it does. Life comes with its challenges. And it’s hard to hide your feelings from the people you love the most.

So tonight, I cried in front of you. You looked at me. At first, you seemed confused. But then you wrapped your little arm around me. And held me tight. “Don’t cry, mummy”, you said. “Don’t cry.” I nearly forgot that you are not even two…

At this moment, I was so incredibly proud of you. Proud of the beautiful little person you have already become. But I also realised how small, how vulnerable I was. How imperfect. And full of scars. Scars that tell many stories. Of a time when I was just like you. Stories of a time that you never really leave behind…

Tonight, I feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of being your mum.

You’re like a sponge. Your little eyes follow me everywhere. Register everything that I do, everything that I say. I am your hero. Your reference. To you, I am the world. In a way.

You’re an empty book. A blank page. And, very often, I am the one who is drawing on it. At least for now… What if I fill your pages with doubts. With fears. And even with pain? What if I don’t always succeed in drawing a rainbow. What if there are storms. What if there is rain in the pictures I draw sometimes?

Tonight, I feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of being your mum. Cause I know that my smiles, my tears, my doubts and my fears

are leaving footprints in the sand…

.