Recently, I had a discussion with a friend of mine. She’s an expat mum in Dubai. Just like me. She’s also a mum of two. A stay-at-home mum. Nearly three years ago, she quit her job when her eldest son was born. It was a well-paid job. With responsibilities. Now, she spends her days entertaining the little ones while her husband is at work. While her husband is earning the money. Sometimes in Dubai. Sometimes abroad. It was never planned that way. It just happened.
So, while we were sitting there, she told me how worried she was. For her CV. For her LinkedIn profile. And all the potential job interviews she might have one day. “It’s been over two years… No job. Nothing. There’s a huge gap on my CV! How can I even explain that to a future employer?” What she meant was: we’re out. We’re out of the corporate world. It’s us. And them.
I know the feeling. The frustration. I know the fear. The fear of not being able to return one day. At least not to the same position. I know the feeling of not belonging there anymore somehow. I am not the same person I was three years ago. What I don’t understand is why there needs to be a gap on our CV. On LinkedIn. And in our career. I don’t see a gap. I rather see a personal development. A career change. I see someone who was able to grow.
My LinkedIn profile says “Mum of Two”. It doesn’t say “Currently on maternity leave”. As if I was just waiting for a change. As if I had put my career into brackets. As if I was living in ‘a gap’…
I don’t think you actually stop working when you go on maternity leave. Or when you decide to become a full-time mum. For a little while. Or for longer. Your responsibilities change. Your clients as well. But you still work. You still get challenged every day. And you still see the result of your efforts. Right in front of your eyes.
Maybe even more than in any other job.
“But you can’t put that as a job title, can you? It’s not a job. I mean, everybody can be a mum. People don’t even know what you do as a mum…”
Oh really? Cause all these fancy job titles people put on LinkedIn really tell you what they are doing? I’ve seen trainees doing the work of a full-time employee and managers who honestly didn’t seem to be at their place…
Why can’t you put ‘Mum’ as a job title? What scares employers? And what scares us? That you suddenly can’t hide behind a company name? A job description, a university degree? That, suddenly, we are all the same? That we are all losing our sh… in front of a screaming toddler? Doctors, hairdressers and teachers alike?
We are all in the same boat. We can’t hide. We can’t outsource. We can’t pretend. Being a mum means tackling the challenges. Here and now. That’s what all employers should know. When you become a mum, you don’t lose what you had and who you were before. You don’t lose your former titles. Your experience. Your achievements. Being a full-time mum doesn’t take that away from you. It simply puts you in a new situation. It challenges you in a different way.
I might not have any cool job title anymore (though I think “mum of two” sounds pretty cool) but I am pretty sure I now know better how to manage a team. How to listen. How to be patient. I’m pretty sure I now know better how to prioritise, how to handle stressful situations and to multitask. I have learned how to win an argument with a 2yo by putting myself in his shoes. By observing him. By doing my research. I wish more marketers would do the same with their target groups… So, I’m pretty sure I am a better company asset now than three years ago.
See, before becoming a mum, I was a PR Manager, an Event Specialist and an Education Manager. I’ve worked for several international companies. I’ve participated in trainings. I’ve studied hard. I managed budgets, I talked to the press. I coordinated teams and came up with new ideas. And yet. Whenever I needed to tell someone about my jobs, my responsibilities and achievements, whenever I needed to convince someone of my worth, I struggled. I needed to think twice. I needed to get prepared. To learn my elevator pitch.
Today, I don’t need to think about this anymore. Out of all my jobs, my current one is the one that makes me proudest. The one I love the most. I don’t bother anymore with convincing people of my worth. I know what my current job has taught me. And what it teaches me every day.
And I know that, if I will return to work one day, it will be a company that knows. That understands. That doesn’t see a gap.
Until then, my job title will be “Mum of Two”.
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Very nice article! …and very nice blog
Thank you so much, Regina
You have spoken directly to my heart?
I am so glad I have come across your blog. For me, the struggle is real from the corporate world to mum of two…but as I said you spoke directly to my heart. Thank you for giving me a new perspective to this. I love my boys beyond anything, so expat mum of two will have fun making this work.
I love the workshop idea for mums and their precious ones.
Thanks so much for your kind words. I know what you mean. I also have days when I really struggle… But being a mum of two is still the most rewarding position I’ve ever had x
Been on the SAHM position for 8 years now and it has been a challenging ride.
Very well written, Tani! Motherhood is the most taxing yet unpaid job in the world!
Thanks so much, Neelu
I guess once you’re worked in the corporate field, you can’t stop thinking about your CV! My LI profile says Blogger, so at least we have that. But of course, nothing is more fulfilling than being with them when they’re little.
Agree. You always think about your CV. But that’s exactly the reason why I thought: why not include my current job?
So true women never stop working whether they earn or not. And our experience is superior than any other job title.
Agree 100%
Tani this is just BRILLIANT – I am cheering out loud as I read your post. I have been a SAHM for 8.5 years and I definitely have had a lifetime of experience thrown at me during that time. The thing with this role of Motherhood is you learn-on-the-job, never was there a more important time to develop new skills both quickly and efficiently. Maybe I need to look at setting up a LinkedIn account and we’ll stand proud in our bio together… X
Thanks so much, Shea! You should
xxx
Thank you for this. A few days back, I wouldn’t sleep, worrying how I could get back to work when I haven’t done “anything” in a year and plus aside from taking care of our son. But in reflection, I have actually become a better person by being sahm – more patient, less frustrated, more motivated, driven. I hope more companies will see less of an employment gap, and more of the person that has gotten better.
I am sure you are! It’s just up to us to explain that to the companies, I think. If we are convinced of it, then they might just be as well
Awesome u just loved it the way your said why can’t you write Mom in linked in. For me it’s been five years since marriage and has been two years since I’ve been trying to find a job in dubai. All I hear from all sides is you had a break in your career.
I feel light and happy after reading your blog.
Thank you so much, Amirtha. That’s the best compliment
And I wish you all the best for your job search x