Weeks 35-36: What HypnoBirthing taught me

36th week nearly over! It’s getting close 🙂 I can’t wait to hold our little angel in my arms… In this week’s post I would like to share with you my HypnoBirthing experience. Cause I really do think every pregnant woman should at least know that HypnoBirthing exists. Enjoy xxx

The symptoms I am supposed to have in weeks 35 & 36 (and how I am really feeling)

• Waddling: “You might find that you waddle”, says my weekly pregnancy update. Wow, that sounds super sexy. This is due to the heavy weight that now shifts from side to side when walking. Apparently, this will even get worse when the baby will engage into the pelvis. Yeyy haha! Well, I hope that I don’t waddle too much. And if I do: please don’t tell me 😉
• Swollen feet and ankles: No, thankfully, I don’t have any swollen feet and ankles! My belly is already super big – honestly, that’s enough haha! This so-called oedema is due to fluid retention, which, in turn, is due to the extra blood production during pregnancy. It can be particularly bad in hot weather. (NB: Attention: I’ve read that it can also be a sign of pre-eclampsia. So, it might be good to check with your doc if you have this problem). Things that you can do to reduce welling include wearing maternity stockings and elevating your feed (e.g. by lying on the floor with your feet up the wall). It’s also important to drink loads of water.
• Painful breasts: Hmmm. No. I recommend wearing nursing night bras though. Got them when I was nursing little L and they are super comfortable at night (and even in the evening in front of the TV or so 😉 )
• Impatience: Well, what should I say. Yes, of course, I am impatient to meet Miss M (and to stop looking like a coloured Easter egg haha). But it’s so much different when you’re pregnant with your second baby. For Luca I literally couldn’t wait any longer. I got booored but really bored of being pregnant during the last pregnancy month. Especially when my doctor told me to stop working two weeks before Luca was born. When you have a toddler at home this is very unlikely to happen. I wish I still knew how boredom feels like haha
• Etc…: I just add “…” as there are so many parts of my body that are aching now from time to time haha. Like, my back and my legs when I get out of the bed in the morning. And I also have difficulty breathing sometimes. Especially in the morning. But well. These are all minor things not worth mentioning. I guess that’s just the way it is when you about to enter your last pregnancy month 😉

Little Miss M

Last Saturday, we had a “rendez-vous” with our little Miss M – and the good news is that she turned again! 😀 I couldn’t be happier! While my pregnancy app tells me that our little angel is now about the size of a honeydew melon, my doctor told me that she was quite “petite” (but totally fine and healthy) with her 2.5kg. Well, honestly, I am glad that she is not on the 4kg+ side as I am not super tall myself haha!

My doula explained that Miss M’s head might be starting to engage now in readiness for the start of the labor. However, this is more likely to happen this early for a first pregnancy. She still suggested to measure the height of my belly regularly to see if there is a change. So far, nothing…

However, I can feel that Miss M’s movements have changed as she is probably having less room. Last week I was pretty close to heading to Al Zahra as I didn’t feel her much during one entire day! I called Dr. Anni instead who told me to drink something very cold and sweet to see how our little lady would react to this. I did this immediately – and ate some chocolate just to make sure the sugar level is high enough (any excuse to eat chocolate is welcome, right haha?!). She did move a bit after that but she only really responded when my husband placed his hand on my belly in the evening. Pfff. Already daddy’s girl 😉 Well, apparently, towards the end of the pregnancy, a baby can have periods when she is moving less. However, there should always be some strong kicks every day.

This week’s topic

I have to say that I am feeling quite calm and relaxed considering the fact that Miss M’s expected due date is only a few weeks away now. And this is not because I am a generally calm and relaxed person, believe me. I love things to be planned and organized and, well, birth is unfortunately (fortunately?!) nothing you can really plan. You can prepare yourself but you will never really know when (and how!) labor will start (except if you have a planned C-section, of course). Yep, there’s this thing about labor: it will always remain unpredictable to a certain extent. And unpredictable things usually tend to freak me out a bit…

So, if I am rather calm and relaxed this time that’s mainly because I am surrounded by amazing people this time: My husband, of course. Cause I know that he will be there for me when labor starts (if he is physically in Dubai that is…). Our nanny. Because she has succeeded in creating a real bond with little L after only some weeks and because I know that I won’t need to worry about Luca when I will need to go to the hospital. My gynecologist, Dr. Anni, simply because she is not only very skilled, especially when it comes to VBACs but also very calm and reassuring. I trust her completely. My doula, which I know since we have arrived in Dubai, a long time before I got pregnant with Miss M. Knowing that she will be here for me during these last pregnancy weeks and on my side during labor means a lot to me. And finally, my / our HypnoBirthing teacher Elizabeth (you can read more about her on her website).

I won’t be able to share my husband or nanny with you, nor should I probably recommend one particular doula or gynecologist as this is a very personal choice (but I can tell you that IF you want a natural birth and especially if you want a VBAC, Dr. Anni is the right person for you 😉 ). But I can definitely tell you one thing: Give HypnoBirthing a Go!

I should add that I am about to write about one particular HypnoBirthing program: The WiseHippo Birthing Program (don’t question the name, there is an explanation for it 😉 ). I am also talking about one particular teacher: Elizabeth. And one particular kind of method: Elizabeth came to see my husband and me at home on five evenings. I have to admit that 8-11pm may not be the best timing but we had no nanny and therefore nobody to look after little L when we started the sessions. So, for us, these one-to-one evening sessions were the perfect solution. Some couples may prefer to share a class with other couples (and this is totally possible) but I personally prefer to be in my pajamas when it comes to birth preparation sessions 😉

While I was honestly a bit skeptical when we met Elizabeth for the first time (and I am not even talking about my husband here haha), I am now more than convinced that learning more about HypnoBirthing was the best idea I’ve had in a long time. I wonder why there are so few mums-to-be who know about the benefits of HypnoBirthing. I wish I had known about it when I was pregnant with little L. This would have made a huge difference. Probably, I would never have agreed to induce labor two weeks before little L’s due date. And maybe I would never have had a C-section. But that’s another story.

5 important things HypnoBirthing taught me:

• Why I am so afraid of birth and how to deal with it
  Yes, I have to admit that I’ve always found giving birth scary. I still do a little bit. As I told you, mainly due to the fact that you cannot really plan it. You cannot control it. You need to let go to a certain extent. But there’s another factor as I realized when I started the HypnoBirthing sessions. It’s the negative image that comes with giving birth. Basically, giving birth is like taking a plane for me. A few years ago, I was scared to death when I approached an airplane (and I needed to take the plane quite regularly). It was horrible. I didn’t know much about flying but I knew that it was not possible to pilot the plane myself (I would have done it otherwise, believe me, haha), that I needed to trust the crew and that there were some really bad plane crashes happening. I mean you could read it everywhere. And see it in the news. Well, that’s the thing. I only saw negative images about flying. In the news, in films, everywhere. Add some personal, not so nice (but totally acceptable) experiences on a plane – et voilà: you create a fear. That is regularly fed by new negative images until it becomes a phobia. One day I decided to do a course against my fear of flying. It was a quite intense course (3 days of complete brain wash + a flight) where I learned everything about how a plane functions, about how to identify different noises you might hear in a plane and about the real risks (as opposed to the imaginary ones). I got the possibility to talk to a pilot, to a crew member, even to an air traffic controller. I also learned some techniques how to deal with my fear on the plane. And I needed to practice. A lot. For a while, I took the plane every few weeks or even more often. And if I am still not a big fan of taking a plane today, I am now definitely able to cope and feel more relaxed. Well, it’s the same with giving birth. I didn’t know anything about it a few weeks ago. The only thing I knew was that it can be damn painful. I mean, I’d never seen a calm and easy birth before. Where would I?! Certainly not in any film (who would watch that?!) and nowhere else neither. I have some friends who apparently had a great birth experience but, hey, I’m talking about a lucky few! No wonder you get scared! HypnoBirthing was for me like the intense course against my fear of flying. It had the same healing effect. I finally started to understand “how giving birth works” if you can say this like that. And how to counter-act my fears and the negative things about giving birth you see and hear everywhere.

• How to make my own informed decisions
  I trust doctors, don’t get me wrong. But there’s a difference between trusting a doctor because you have no other choice than to do so and trusting a doctor because you truly believe that what he is suggesting is the best solution for you in your particular situation. When I was pregnant with little L I simply believed everything we were told and advised to do. I didn’t question anything. Even though I am normally a person who questions everything. I just felt lost and vulnerable. This time, I wanted to make sure I knew a bit more about my options. About how my body works, about the pros and cons of different interventions. I actually was not expecting to learn so much during the HypnoBirthing sessions. But I did. One of the most important things I learned is probably the fact that one intervention can easily lead to the next. It becomes what Elizabeth calls a “cascade of interventions”. For example, an epidural forces you to lay down, which is not the best position to have a baby, which can lead to the necessity to have an assisted birth (forceps or ventouse), which may require episiotomy and so on… I am not saying that I will say “NO” to any intervention my doctor might suggest – especially if they are necessary! I mean, I will definitely not question the need for an emergency C-section! -, I might even be the first to ask for an epidural, who knows. But I now feel more confident to ask the right questions in order to fully understand the pros and cons of a certain medical intervention. And I feel confident enough to make my own informed decisions. To trust myself.

(NB: I copy-paste however the following note taken from my HypnoBirthing book as this seems quite important to mention: “[The HypnoBirthing] program is NOT an alternative to medical advice. Should you have any concerns at any point during your pregnancy please consult with your medical professional.”)

• That I can actually do it
  “Research has estimated that up to 95 percent of women can safely give birth without medical interventions.” (taken from my HypnoBirthing book). I guess I needed someone to tell me exactly that. To tell me that I am totally capable of giving birth and that there are ways (natural ones) that actually really help you reduce the pain. I don’t think anybody has ever told me “Hey, you’ll see, giving birth is such a great and empowering experience! Of course, it will require some effort but you can totally do it.”. I also really loved the fact that Elizabeth showed me some concrete preparation exercises that can help me when in labor. For now, I can’t tell you if they work (might need to give you an update on that in some weeks 😉 ) but I definitely feel prepared. It’s like preparing for a sport competition. You won’t get the best result without mental and physical preparation. And this is what I am doing at the moment: exercises to prepare my body, breathing exercises to relax, reading the right documents to get mentally prepared, writing my birth plan etc.

• That me and my baby are a team
  I know that this might sound stupid but I have always thought of labor as a one-man show. One person is doing the work (well, plus the medical team of course). That’s it. I never thought that you should actually “work together” and team up with your baby. But that’s exactly what I have learned during the last weeks. It’s so important. And there are actually some really fascinating things going on – even before birth! When Miss M was breech (meaning not in the perfect position for birth) I talked to her every day. I did some exercises as recommended by my HypnoBirthing teacher (read more about it in my previous post) and she actually turned! I can also feel her respond when I start doing the breathing exercises I have learned. It’s really funny. During labor, you can actually help your baby move down with different breathing techniques, positions etc. It’s the baby who needs to do quite a lot of work herself. So, it’s important to know how to help her do her job 😉

• How to calm down and relax
  Probably one of the most important things I have learned during the last weeks. Not only for pregnancy and birth. In general. Had I done yoga before, maybe HypnoBirthing would not have been such a revelation to me. But during the last sessions with Elizabeth I actually learned for the first time how to sit down and relax. I should explain you first that I am a little Duracell bunny. I rarely sit down and do nothing. HypnoBirthing teaches you how to relax and calm down very rapidly and how to get some new energy out of your relaxation and breathing exercises – certainly a technique that I will use after giving birth!

I am not trying to say that every woman should do HypnoBirthing. But it might be worth getting some information on it. It might be just the right thing for you. It certainly is for me! It is like the first gift I am offering Miss M. Something I am doing for the both of us. It’s also some private time with my little baby girl.

NB: There are several people teaching HypnoBirthing in Dubai. Elizabeth was the right choice for us but you might want to have a look at Jasmine’s HypnoBirthing classes as well about which I have heard good things.

Must haves for Miss M

When little L was born we faced one problem we didn’t think about at all when I was pregnant: the ceiling light in his room was super bright – really aggressive at night when we needed to change Luca’s nappy (for both him and us, by the way). We needed to change the bulbs but even that wasn’t enough… So, this time, I want to make sure Miss M’s room would be nice and cosy at night, when we would need to change her nappies and nurse her (I don’t like to nurse in bed). Of course, there are numerous possibilities to achieve this. But some are, let’s say, “trendier” and more fun than others 😉

When looking for a nice little lamp for Miss M’s room I came across the lightboxes of A Little Lovely Company. Gorgeous! You have three options:
– a lightbox in A5 format
– one in A4 format
– and a poster lightbox

While the poster lightbox gives you the possibility to display and illuminate a nice selection of posters (themes are for example Little Girl, Little Boy, Love etc.), the A4 and A5 lightboxes have three and two rows respectively to light up any quotes or messages you want to see written on your nursery wall (or on a shelf). I love this idea!

You can order them on the A Little Lovely Company website and ask them to ship the lightboxes to Dubai or, if you want to get them to your home as rapidly as possible, you can find them at the Caramel and Sun store in Mercato Mall. The poster lightbox can also be ordered online on www.thebowerycompany.com.

IG: @alittlelovelycompany, @caramelandsun, @thebowerycompany

xxx

Tani