You always see new mums smiling.
But, trust me, there are moments when they doubt. Moments when they feel lonely and a bit overwhelmed.
You don’t see new mums worrying at night, wondering if the baby is dressed too warm or maybe not warm enough to sleep in a room where the AC is fighting the Dubai summer heat.
You don’t see them crying when the baby cries, every day at the same time. When nothing can calm him down. It breaks their mummy heart. Every time. Even though they know that it will pass, that it won’t last forever.
You don’t see them staring at their phone with their tired eyes, scrolling down the Google pages, searching for solutions to make breastfeeding work.
You don’t see their heart break every time someone is asking them if they are nursing. Cause they are not. Cause it’s too hard. Cause breastfeeding just isn’t working for them…
There are millions of different reasons why new mums feel vulnerable sometimes. I remember the feeling when I got home from the hospital after giving birth to little L nearly two years ago. I felt the greatest happiness. But I also felt left alone. Unprepared. Anxious.
It is only now that I realize how blessed I was to have my husband and parents-in-law around back then in Switzerland. Even my mum could come over for some weeks to help. She was the one who would tell me that everything was fine every time I was starting to worry.
I also remember how thankful I was for the midwife who came to our home every week to check on me and our little baby L. In Switzerland, every new mum can benefit from this service and it’s such a huge help. The midwives are checking on your physical (and mental!) health. They weight the baby and answer your questions.
But what about this time?
Being an expat in Dubai has lots of advantages. I love our expat life and I love living in Dubai. But being an expat also means being away from your family and loved ones. And, with a husband that is regularly travelling, it often means being alone.
After Maëva’s birth, neither my parents-in-law nor my own parents could come over to help and, even though we have a great nanny who can help me take care of the kids and our household, there was no one around to “hold my hand” and reassure me that I was making the right decisions, doing the right things this time. Apart from my husband, of course. But life goes on, baby or not, and so are the business trips.
Of course, I do feel more confident this time. I have less questions. Less fears. Maëva is our second child after all. But I still knew that I would need some help in the first weeks after giving birth.
And that’s what I did: I got some help.
I got some help in form of a person – or rather a team of people – who would do exactly what the midwives back in Switzerland did. Maybe even more. Someone who would come home and check on us. Who would answer my questions. Who would reassure me and be available in case of need.
To be precise, the help even came to me. Licensed home healthcare company Babies and Beyond contacted me to ask me if I was interested in meeting them to learn more about their postnatal home visits.
Before I go on with writing about my experience with Babies and Beyond, I would like to underline that this is no sponsored blog post. I did not receive any money nor did Babies and Beyond insist on being mentioned in a blog post. If I write about the postnatal home visits they offer it is simply because I truly think that their amazing team of nurses, midwives, health visitors and lactation consultations can make a huge difference to many new mums here in Dubai. They surely did for me…
For those who don’t know Babies and Beyond, here are some of the in-home services and workshops they provide (check out the links below for more information):
1. Newborn Care
2. Child Development and Care
3. Babysitting
4. Postnatal Home visits
5. Breastfeeding Support
1. Prenatal and Antenatal Workshop
2. Sleep Workshop
3.Baby massage workshop
4. HypnoBirthing workshops
5. Baby weaning workshop
6. Positive Parenting workshop
In my case, it was Julie Mallon, a UK qualified midwife as well as birth doula and sleep consultant, who came to see me. I met Julie for the first time over a year ago when we were in desperate need of someone who could help us make little L sleep through the night again, and have been in contact with her ever since. I appreciate her a lot – not only for her great knowledge when it comes to babies and children but also for her gentle and caring personality.
Julie came to our apartment about once a week to weigh Maëva (one of my biggest concerns was that she was not gaining enough weight as this was the case for little L when he was a newborn) and to have a look at my C-section scar. We also talked a lot about breastfeeding. Just like many mums, I was very concerned that Miss M would not get enough milk. Having Julie by my side, giving me all these wonderful tips and telling me that Maëva was doing just fine gave me the confidence needed not to give up on breastfeeding during the first weeks.
Of course, I also benefitted from her great experience as a sleep consultant. While I am a big fan of Tracy Hogg’s “E.A.S.Y” method (meaning that the baby “eats”, has some “activity” and then “sleeps” before she is fed again) and follow it as much as possible, I wanted to find an “eat-activity-sleep” rhythm for Maëva that suited us as a family of 4 but was still led by her. Julie never told me what to do but gave me some useful tips and answered all of my questions with a lot of patience.
Be it the EASY method, Julie’s help or just a bit of luck, our two kiddies go to bed at around 8/8.30 and Maëva is waking up for the first time at around 2am before she goes to sleep again until the morning. Fingers crossed it will last 🙂
One of Julie’s visits was dedicated to our family and especially to Luca. I thought it was very important to make sure that he was doing fine as well, with so many changes going on. While he has really well adapted to the new family constellation, he wants to be held much more frequently by his daddy now when the latter is around. He is also screaming much more, especially during lunchtime, to make sure he is heard. So, Julie agreed to join us for lunch to evaluate the situation and give us some tips on how we should react. Invaluable!
Every time Julie was around I felt like having a friend over for coffee (or rather tea 😉 ). I also knew that I could text her in between sessions whenever I had a question.
I am talking a lot about Julie as she was the one visiting me but, having met some of the other Babies and Beyond midwives as well, I can tell you that their whole team is simply great!
So, please, new mummies out there, don’t suffer in silence if you feel a bit lost and overwhelmed in the first weeks after having a baby. Don’t try to be superwoman (even though I know that you are absolutely capable of being one) or keep your doubts and fears to yourself.
I can only tell you how great it felt to talk to someone who can answer your questions and reassure you.
If you want to find out more about Babies and Beyond and their fabulous team, visit their website or contact them by phone or email.
Website: www.babiesandbeyond.ae
Telephone: +971 (0)4 278 9832
Email: info@babiesandbeyond.ae
Xxx
Tani
Hi there! I’m Tani De Gregorio. The one behind this little blog. ‘Our big Dubai adventure’ started about three years ago when I quit my job in a multinational in Switzerland to follow my husband to sunny Dubai where we are living now with our two little munchkins, Luca (3) and Maëva (nearly 2).
This blog is not about the glamorous life of an expat wife. There’s just too many baby wipes and too few high heels in my life for that.
Instead, it’s about our daily adventures in the sandpit. About motherhood away from home. It’s about the kids. About fun things for them to do. Things you might not have heard of otherwise. It’s about workshops. And cool places to explore. In this amazing city we call home. At least for a little while…
Week 24: Important Contacts when Pregnant in Dubai
999
The night we met (my birth story)
998
Confessions of a newly appointed mummy of 2
997
LEAVE A REPLY
Thank you for this great post, I have had the privilege of having one of Mrs Mallon’s private classes in my home this week and I loved her approach. She is incredibly knowledgable and therefore very reassuring. I could see how naturally passionate she is about this subject and therefore has a wealth of valuable information to share. I highly highly recommend meeting with her.
Very happy that you also had a positive experience with her, Dina
It can be extremely hard being a new mom as an expat. This looks like a wonderful service!
It is, Tarana! Very helpful